I’m going to a party and I need to make a cake.
When I find myself in this position, there is one recipe that I go to time and time again: (Almost) Better Than Sex Cake. You heard that right. The cake is so good, that its actual name is “(Almost) Better Than Sex Cake.” And here it is (pictures do not do it justice)…
I’ve been enjoying this to-die-for dessert since before I knew what the word “sex” meant. And there’s a funny story about that. Years and years ago, my grandma’s sister out on the West Coast called Gram to say “Char, I’m sending you a delicious cake recipe. You will not believe what it’s called.” So Gram wrote down this recipe and made the cake for the next family get-together (side note: Gram makes desserts regardless of whether the gathering is for a holiday, a birthday party or just a Sunday dinner – part of the reason I love her so much). I was young at the time – far too young to hear the word “sex” and so all the adults were hush hush over the name of this decadent cake, despite their oohs and ahhs and moans over its flavor. After one bite, it instantly became my favorite dessert.
When I began requesting this cake for my birthdays, I would just ask for “that cake that I love.” As far as I knew, it had no name. Once I started baking on my own and asked for the recipe, Gram finally came clean. She whispered in my ear the name of the cake as she wrote out the directions on an index card. We got a good laugh together! All these years the family had been keeping the name from me, for fear I’d ask too many questions…and here it was, my favorite cake!
And I’ll admit, it is awkward at times to give out this recipe, especially when your coworkers ask for it. But an unforgettable cake deserves an unforgettable name! Worth every bite of awkwardness. And here’s the thing, this cake is so easy to make that it’s embarassing to admit how much I love it. I mean, it’s not a recipe that requires all day in the kitchen, with elaborate ingredients and skilled bake-manship. But if you like chocolate, butterscotch, Heath Bar, gooey insides and a Cool Whip topping (I pretty much just gave away the recipe right there), then you’ll love it too. It’s so tasty that I can’t keep it to myself. So here it is…
(Almost) Better Than Sex Cake Recipe
- 1 box of German/Devil’s Food Cake Mix
- 1 pint (8 oz.) Cool Whip
- 1 14-oz. can Sweetened Condensed Milk
- 12 oz. bottle of Butterscotch or Caramel Sauce
- 1 package of crushed Heath Bar or 3 lg or 5 sm heath bars crushed
1. Bake the cake as directed in a 9×13 in. pan
And now we wait. I always wash the various bowls and utensils at this point. But I will be licking these first.
2. While hot, punch holes in the cake with the end of a wooden spoon (about every inch) and pour the Sweetened Condensed Milk into the holes
3. Pour the Butterscotch or Caramel Sauce into the holes
4. Spread with Cool Whip when cool or ready to serve
5. Cover with crushed Heath Bars
Note: Keep any leftovers in the fridge. If necessary, this cake also freezes well.
And that, friends, is my all-time favorite cake recipe, courtesy of Gram’s sister. Over the years, I’ve appreciated this cake as much for its simplicity and deliciousness as I do for the memories behind it. Someday, I’ll expand my baking skills beyond this recipe; but it’s tried and true and I’m not really a baker (or a chef, for that matter) so I’ll be showing up to parties with this one for a while.
Whether or not you think it’s (almost) better than sex is completely subjective. And I don’t care to hear your opinion on that. I’m happy just to see you enjoying a big forkful of my cake and hearing the ohhs and ahhs that can’t help but escape from your lips. Just be sure not to let a single crumb slip out.
Ok, I confess. I have no party to go to. This cake is just for me.