Single and Taking on the World, Part II: Dating Yourself

Single and Taking on the World, Part II: Dating Yourself | Positively Smitten

Some women love being single, some women not so much. Whether you are the former or the latter, it is always important to not forget about the most important person in your life: You.

You should never forget how special you are. Never forget how much you deserve happiness. Never forget to treat yourself to the pleasures of life. Never forget that you are and always will be number one.

Some people believe that being single holds a social stigma. These same people tend to believe that if you’re single you’re unhappy and lonely. They also believe that it’s unheard of for a woman to be out by herself eating a meal, watching a movie, or simply enjoying spending time by herself.

Well, ignore these individuals and continue to enjoy your “me” time. They either are too scared to admit they aren’t brave enough to be out on their own or they’ve never tried it.

Here are a few pointers to help you when you want to go out for the evening and you don’t have a date, your friends can’t make it, or you just want to experience the thrill of exploring the world on your own.

Treat it Like a Real Date– If you’re taking yourself on a date, then really take yourself on a date. I know you may want to take the latest book or magazine you’re reading to dinner with you, but would you read a book while on a date with someone else? You may want to wear your comfy sneakers and your hair in a ponytail, but would you do that if you were meeting someone for dinner? I can guarantee that the answer to both of these questions are “no.” So, why would you do these things when you’re going out on a date with yourself? You deserve nothing less than the best!

Put on your favorite pair of heels, slap on some makeup, curl your hair, or do whatever it is you do before you go out for a night on the town with your friends. Doing this will give you confidence when you’re out. Let others see how confident you are and how much you are enjoying yourself.

Also, do not stay chatting or texting on your phone. This time is meant for you to connect with yourself. Being distracted while on the phone will make you miss all of the interesting things happening right around you.

Don’t be Afraid to Talk to Strangers– I know this goes against everything you were taught growing up, but you’re an adult now. Don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation. Just because you’re on a date with yourself doesn’t mean you can’t talk to anybody else. Mix and mingle with others or just have small talk. This will allow you to not think about being out alone, but will show you that you are a fun and interesting person no matter what situation you’re in.

If you don’t know where to begin to start a conversation with others, start at the bar. I don’t mean start drinking. I mean have a seat at the bar, order your dinner, and a drink (preferably, non-alcoholic since you are out alone). Most bars have T.V.’s, so watch what is playing. Either sports will be playing or the news will be on. If you see someone nearby watching the same thing, mention something you just saw. This usually works for starting a conversation. If the person seems disinterested in talking, there is always the bartender. I’ve found that most bartenders genuinely like talking to their customers.

Be Safe– A woman’s safety is important, especially when going out by herself. This should go without saying, but you should never go to a place where you don’t feel safe. Don’t set yourself up to be a target for predators or anybody who is looking to harm you.

If you order a drink, take precaution and do not leave your drink (or food) unattended. If a nice gentleman offers to buy you a drink (alcoholic or not) always make sure the drink is brought directly from the bar or given to you by a server. Never, I repeat NEVER, accept a drink from someone who brings it to your table themselves. Anything could have been slipped in it and you don’t want to take that chance of not making it home.

If you decide to check out the latest movie, sit somewhere in the middle of the crowd. Do not sit in the back. You want others to notice that you are there, just in case something happens. If at all possible, try not to leave the theater while the movie is playing. Visit the concession stand and the bathroom before the movie begins. You don’t want to leave while the movie is playing because if someone follows you out, there will be a smaller crowd noticing you leave.

Always park in a well-populated area. Don’t make the mistake of parking in an alley or side street during the day, then having to walk down that dark alley by yourself at night.

(The “Single and Taking on the World” article series will give single women insight to overcome issues some women may face, whether it is with car buying and repairs, maintaining relationships with married friends, treating themselves to a date, or dealing with questions like, “Why are you still single?”)


5 responses to “Single and Taking on the World, Part II: Dating Yourself

  1. This is all excellent advice! I admit, when I was younger, I was always too embarrassed to go and do anything alone. Now that I’m older, I realize there’s nothing wrong with it and, in fact, we all need a bit of “me” time every now and then. I’ve not yet worked up the courage to take myself out on a date, but I love your tips, so maybe I will!


  2. I, too, love this series because it totally cheers me up! I have always really valued my alone/”me” time, even when in a relationship. One of my favorite things to do is go see a movie alone. I love all of these tips and will be using them!


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