These are a few things that I’ve found, when I practice them, help me thrive and deal with the trials and tribulations of being an evolving twenty-something woman.
Having love for everyone.
Here is what I have learned during my very short stint on this planet: love everything, and (mostly) everything will love you back.
It is too easy to fall into the comparison trap. Women are pitted against one another in the media all the time. Who is more talented, who has the best body, who wore it best?
Much of our culture operates with the underlying belief that our world is a place of lack. The more she has, the less I have. We can’t buy into this bull anymore.
Let’s be real: our twenties are going to be one of the most exciting, chaotic, fun, and nerve-wracking times of our lives. We will likely experience excruciating heartbreak, adventures of a lifetime, confusion and anxiety around our purpose, life-changing love, boredom and lack of direction, and rapid change and growth. Why, oh why, should we waste our energy on hatin’?
You know what? Here’s what I choose to say: you go, Glen Coco! And Gretchen Weiners, I would give you a candy gram if I could, because you deserve love too.
Operate from a belief that the world is a place of abundance, and you will radically change your life. The more love you give, the more you will receive. Try it and see what happens.
This doesn’t have to be actual therapy with a therapist; it can be heart to hearts with your best friend, losing yourself in your art, or writing in a journal in order to capture all the crazy things happening to you. It doesn’t really matter what it is, as long as it’s cathartic to you and effective with helping you cope.
We experience so much change in our twenties that only six months pass and we can feel like a completely different person. It’s important to reflect and process along the way and make sure we’re not dealing on a superficial level. If you suppress something and don’t fully heal it, it will only emerge again even stronger and show up in your life wearing a different disguise, again and again, until you finally get the lesson.
A reliable pick-me-up
Whether it’s the morning after a defeating day at work or, more depressingly, a late night of bawling my eyes out after catching The Notebook on TV when I couldn’t sleep, my without-fail-pick-me-up is a hot shower, a strong cup of joe, and throwing on some concealer, mascara and lip gloss.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m aware that my future partner will see me on my worst hair days, hear me mumble in my sleep about my secret crush on Dr. Oz, and potentially hold my hand while I am on a hospital bed, sweating like Chris Harrison of The Bachelor when he’s forced to go off script, and I am birthing his children. Case in point: I’m not tryna fool anyone here.
But throwing on a little bit of make-up helps me say, “Alright, world. Ryan Gosling may not be the love of my life, but I’m ready to take you on. Bring it.”
Find the things that make you feel rejuvenated and help you discover the courage to start over again after a particularly bad day, then store them in your back pocket for when you need them the most.
This is the first piece of an ongoing series by Liz. Calling all twenty something ladies: holla at me! What do you agree/disagree with? What would you add to this list?