For nearly seven years now, my boyfriend, Bill, and I have been together. If we could borrow a line from one of my favorite fictional couples, Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt of “Parks and Recreation,” Bill and I love each other and we like each other; he’s my boyfriend and my best friend.
That means a pretty massive amount of teasing takes place at any time. A sweet compliment can be followed by one of us erupting into laughter and saying the other person sounds super cheesy. It may not be your ideal relationship, but for us, it’s pretty amazing.
Which is why when I started to realize just how hard Bill had fallen into hipsterdom, I took every opportunity I had to tease him about it.
My name is Crystal, and I’m in love with a hipster. Here’s how to know if you are, too. (Keep track of your answers and find out at the bottom!)
Scenario 1: You’ve got to write a blog post for your job, and part of your duties require you to review the pop culture events that have happened that week. This week, you’re feeling stumped, so you ask your significant other for help. Does (s)he:
a. Immediately link you to Beyonce’s new music video? Everyone is buzzing about Queen Bey. (2 points)
b. Ask if you’re sure you meant to ask him/her for advice? You know (s)he doesn’t follow that stuff. (1 point)
c. Link you to several obscure videos found from the depths of Reddit, suggest intensely nerdy headlines that only heavy internet users would know, and then frown when you say you were thinking something slightly more… mainstream? (3 points)
Scenario 2: While listening to the radio, a new song comes on with a catchy beat. You turn it up and ask what your beau thinks. Does (s)he:
a. Sigh deeply and talk about how (s)he already listened to that song to death — four months ago. (3 points)
b. Agree, and mention something about how (s)he’d heard of this new band the other day? (2 points)
c. Shrug and say it sounds okay? (1 point)
Scenario 3: It’s date night! You and partner would like to watch a movie, but which? The two of you scour through the Netflix listings. Here’s what happens:
a. Your partner sheepishly admits (s)he hasn’t heard of any of the movies, but (s)he trusts you when you say “Avengers” is supposedly a great film. (1 point)
b. Most of the new releases (s)he’s either already seen or isn’t interested. To your significant other (and let’s be honest, you, too), a good movie includes an indie soundtrack, little-known actors, and a quirky element, like “Moonrise Kingdom.” You both settle on a film you found on the internet instead. (3 points)
c. (S)He’s heard so many great things about “Silver Linings Playbook,” “Argo,” and “Lincoln” it’s hard to choose. (2 points)
Now tally up your points! If you got…
3-5 points: Your partner means well, but can’t quite tell the difference between Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz (who?). Sorry, pop culture is just not his/her thing.
6-8 points: With how oversaturated society is with celebrities and entertainment, it’s hard not to be in tune with it! Your beau is likely familiar with the biggest names in Hollywood, the top hits on the radio, and the latest cultural fads.
9 points: Yep, that’s a full-blown hipster, as if you couldn’t already tell by their love of organic, black coffee, super skinny jeans, and that scarf draped around his/her neck. But hey, it’s your hipster, and you wouldn’t change him (or her!) for the world.