If you ever have feelings of jealousy, you’re in good company. I think it’s a more common emotions than we like to admit. But that doesn’t make it a good thing. Jealousy is like a poison, and the biggest victim is you.
There are many kinds of jealousy and many sources of it. The one I find the most toxic is the jealousy felt toward someone we care about: a friend, a peer, or even a relative. Reason being, it’s hard to comprehend how we could be so close to someone and want them to be happy, yet allow negative feelings to pop up should they do something or accomplish something that ultimately makes us jealous. It’s normal to be a little envious that Monica married the man of her dreams or Amanda had a much easier time finding a job than you. But you certainly wouldn’t wish ill will on them, so why can’t we just be happy for their happiness and success?
We’re all adults, and it’s time we realize that there is enough room in this world for all of us to be happy and successful. Here are 4 things you should do the next time you start to feel jealous.
1. Congratulate the person you’re jealous of. Why? Because that’s the nice thing to do when someone you care about just did something really awesome. Open your mind and heart and tell them as genuinely as possible that you are happy for them. Even if you had to force yourself to say it, the right thing to do is praise their accomplishments. Trust me, the one person who isn’t is usually the one who is jealous.
2. Flatter yourself. Why? Because you are no less amazing just because someone else did something great. In fact, their success has nothing to do with you and it does not mean you’re failing, so don’t allow yourself to make that connection in your head. Think of something you respect yourself for, and silently remind yourself of that while you lift your chin up high. You have not lost any of your power.
3. Compliment someone else. Why? Because it’s not always all about you. If you’re feeling sorry for yourself, you’ve missed the point. Other people are working hard on their lives to be a better version of their own selves than they were yesterday. You are not the only one striving for amazing things, so sharing something you admire or respect in another person is one way of passing the magic wand of encouragement on to the next person. Who knows, they may have been feeling jealous of someone else until you lifted them up.
4. Remember a positive comment. Why? Because surely someone once said something to you that made you feel like a million bucks. It washed away all your worries and reminded you that others think you’re pretty great. Chances are the last time you achieved something that you worked hard for, you received a lot of verbal praise. Bask in the warmth of those treasured comments.
The more we focus on showing happiness toward others, and true respect for ourselves, the more we radiate confidence. And the more confidence we have, the less fragile our ego will be when the world is good to someone else. More often than not, they’re deserving of it too, so let go of the jealousy.