The ‘Never Send Letters’: One Sure-Fire Way to Get Over a Break-up

The 'Never Send Letters' - When Break Ups Get Tough | Positively Smitten

 How to deal with a break-up | Positively Smitten

By Shannon Sweeny

Relationships can be tough, and many of them don’t last. At the end of a relationship there is always unfinished business. Whether it’s words left unsaid or feelings left dwindling, there are loose ends that haunt you for quite awhile after the person has gone away. It seems as if these feelings will hang on you forever like a birth mark.

I know this from personal experience. I’m a self-proclaimed dweller. In other words, when I feel a certain way about something, I cannot stop thinking about it and no matter what it is it rules my life. This has happened to me after break ups, when I have so many things that I was too afraid to say and never did sitting on my soul and making me emotionally sick. I spent the better party of high school and college trying to find out how to deal with these feelings. I haven’t completely debunked the problem but I found a solution that has helped — I write a letter that I never send.

Whether your former significant other blind sided you with a break up, just never called you back or you broke up with them yourself, there are always so many things that we are afraid to say. These things will not change your current situation, and telling your ex-boyfriend that he’s the reason why you can’t trust anyone is not going to change your life. But it is important to put it out into the universe in some way, so I hand write a letter that has all the details of my feelings in it: anger, sadness, jealousy, etc., and I sign it with “Love, Shannon” and put it in a box next to my bed.

This box is, unfortunately, full, but whenever I think about how great this guy was or I think maybe I should text or call him, I read the letter and remind myself about all the things that I didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell him. That usually simmers the lonely feeling and reminds me that I’m better off where I am now. These letters don’t solve every problem, but they make me feel more independent and self sufficient and remind me that someday there will be a guy who doesn’t require a letter.

About Shannon:

Shannon is a recent graduate of Emerson College with a degree in Political Communications with minors in Gender Studies and Dance. She has passion for the arts, human rights, non-profit work and progressive thinking. She now resides in New Hampshire and hopes to soon move back to the city she loves, Boston.


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